I’m not afraid to admit it, I cried. As soon as I got in the shuttle to take me to O’hare to take off on the first leg of this journey I was sitting in the back behind 2 scruffy looking men and I  started quietly tearing up. It was 5 a.m. I was exhausted and all of a sudden the reality of the situation hit me. It was the loss of control; I felt a little lump in my throat as I was giving my bags to the shuttler. This shuttle was like a katana through bamboo; I was past the point of no return.

Fast forward through 20hrs of flights. Which were pretty nondescript except my Peanut Butter got taken!! Noooooo. I sat next to a Kiwi (New Zealander) for the voyage over the Pacific. The plane ride was an excellent segue into my new social situation as a (even weirder) looking dude. It’s one thing to go to Europe where you can blend in, but now it feels like your skin suddenly has weight as you become hyper-aware of your appearance.

My schedule once I got off the plane was, to put lightly, hectic. 3 different trains means 2 transfers. The first train left only 45 minutes to get through customs, find my bags, buy tickets, and find the train…with 4 stupid bags. People who know me would snicker. They might even chortle and chuckle at the idea of me finding my way. Well let me tell you:

I

flippin’

nailed

it

Passport Sir? Boom, here you go with my visa and a wink. 

Unfamiliar ticket machines? Squadoosh – Gimme that ticket.

I got off at the right stops and made every single train I had planned for. People were laughing at the silly Gaijin with his 60lb bags struggling mightily down the stairs, but in the end I like to think I earned their respect. The sweat upon my brow was a warriors secretion. And to top it off, look who I was able to snap a picture of:

Kyary Pamyu Pamyu

 and for those who don’t know here  is her video.

My contact is waiting in Tsukuba for me in his right-sided steering wheel car. We drive on the left side of the road to my hotel where I will stay for 2 days before I move into an apartment. He is very kind and we lay out a plan for the next couple days.

The Hotel

The room is nice, I have wi-fi which I am currently using to pass binary communications across the interwebs. They left an origami crane in front of the pillow and it has enough room to relax a little. But hold on here folks let me tell you about the bathrooms. We have it all wrong back in the states. They have: all the toiletries in case you left something behind, a pair of slippers that I’m currently wearing along with a bathrobe. But here is the masterpiece—-

The Throne

After travelling halfway around the world, overcoming sleep deprivation, language barriers, coordinating for work, lack of peanut butter and you discover your about to unravel this marvel of engineering for the first time…I’m…I’m not sure if I can describe my emotions. Just as the day began with uncontrollable outpouring of emotion I finish my day roaring with laughter as I sit there using a bidet in a hotel room in Japan.